I've been on a non stop search to find something that actually warms my black heart of ice. That search can finally end.
September 11, 2010
Now it all makes sense.
I've been on a non stop search to find something that actually warms my black heart of ice. That search can finally end.
August 17, 2010
Your advice sucks.
It's amazing how many dumb ass remedies there are out there for cramps. But then I realize that many women who have cramps and who suggest taking a warm bath followed by a long nap- don't have Endometriosis. I wish I could take a long nap to get rid of cramps. I wish a warm bath cured my pain. Here is what your normal remedies do for me when I'm cramping up:
1. Your warm bath is my boiling hot bath, because I'd rather feel like my skin is burning then feel the pain of my uterus, but alas the water turns less hot too quickly.
2. I can only sleep with cramps if I use vicodin or sleep aids. And even they don't last very long.
3. Your heating pad or thermawraps is my heating pad without the protective sleeve on the highest setting. I have permanent burn marks on my stomach and back under the skin from loving that heating pad too much.
4. Do crunches or sit ups? Yeah right, now that's fucking hilarious. Sometimes I can't even walk people.
5. Avoid chocolate and alcohol. Getting massively drunk seems to make me forget I'm in pain. Eating chocolate at least satisfies my craving of chocolate.
6. Take midol? All Midol is is aspirin and caffeine! I need something stronger. I need a narcotic, a muscle relaxer and some xanax. That way I'm in less pain, my uterus is more relaxed and if that doesn't help at least i wont care that i'm in pain.
7. Meditate? That is even funnier. Next time someone tells me that I'm going to tell them to meditate while being stabbed and see how successful they are.
8. Oh love this one, "stay away from red meat." People who have bad cramps tend to have heavy bleeding, red meat is full of iron and protein, the most important things a woman needs while she is menstruating! Unless she wants to become anemic of course.
9. Don't drink milk? I don't, and I still have cramps motherfucker.
10. Have sex. While I do agree with this one, actually I don't. I lied. I think it feels better for the time being bc you're busy thinking about something else. BUT I think this only applies to semi bad cramps. When I have cramps I lay there and cry for hours on end. It's like I'm in the worst pain of my life. Every time I feel like a baby should be coming out of me or something. So yeah I'm not really in the mood to get down and dirty when I'm in that much pain.
All the other remedies are stupid. The only one I can come up with is patience. Just wait until the pain is over. Wait it out. If you've taken advil or tylenol and nothing works, just wait it out. Eventually you'll feel better. Unless you have endometriosis then you're probably always in pain and you're used to waiting it out anyway.
1. Your warm bath is my boiling hot bath, because I'd rather feel like my skin is burning then feel the pain of my uterus, but alas the water turns less hot too quickly.
2. I can only sleep with cramps if I use vicodin or sleep aids. And even they don't last very long.
3. Your heating pad or thermawraps is my heating pad without the protective sleeve on the highest setting. I have permanent burn marks on my stomach and back under the skin from loving that heating pad too much.
4. Do crunches or sit ups? Yeah right, now that's fucking hilarious. Sometimes I can't even walk people.
5. Avoid chocolate and alcohol. Getting massively drunk seems to make me forget I'm in pain. Eating chocolate at least satisfies my craving of chocolate.
6. Take midol? All Midol is is aspirin and caffeine! I need something stronger. I need a narcotic, a muscle relaxer and some xanax. That way I'm in less pain, my uterus is more relaxed and if that doesn't help at least i wont care that i'm in pain.
7. Meditate? That is even funnier. Next time someone tells me that I'm going to tell them to meditate while being stabbed and see how successful they are.
8. Oh love this one, "stay away from red meat." People who have bad cramps tend to have heavy bleeding, red meat is full of iron and protein, the most important things a woman needs while she is menstruating! Unless she wants to become anemic of course.
9. Don't drink milk? I don't, and I still have cramps motherfucker.
10. Have sex. While I do agree with this one, actually I don't. I lied. I think it feels better for the time being bc you're busy thinking about something else. BUT I think this only applies to semi bad cramps. When I have cramps I lay there and cry for hours on end. It's like I'm in the worst pain of my life. Every time I feel like a baby should be coming out of me or something. So yeah I'm not really in the mood to get down and dirty when I'm in that much pain.
All the other remedies are stupid. The only one I can come up with is patience. Just wait until the pain is over. Wait it out. If you've taken advil or tylenol and nothing works, just wait it out. Eventually you'll feel better. Unless you have endometriosis then you're probably always in pain and you're used to waiting it out anyway.
July 24, 2010
12 and Pregnant
I just watched four consecutive hours of "16 and Pregnant." I'm not really sure why. I guess mtv shows are the only thing Safari on Windows Vista will play without completely fucking up everything. And I wasn't about to watch Cribs or some stupid dating show or some show about fake italians who need to seriously, seriously be shot- or worse sent to Iraq to learn how to shut the fuck up. Anyway...
The whole premise of 16 and pregnant is supposed to show teenagers that getting preggo while in high school is a bad idea and makes your life very very hard. It's supposed to be birth control. Yet I think MTV does a horrid job of de-glamorizing teen pregnancy. All the girls tend to have rich parents who are push overs and we see yet another generation of grandparents raising babies. All the girls are treated like shit by their stupid boyfriends-yet they stick around because "it's better for the baby." Um no it's not, it's ten thousand times worse. Plus they repeat the phrase better for the baby over and over and over yet none of them, except one or two, actually do the best thing for the baby and give it up for adoption. Some of the girls continue to party and have unprotected sex because believe it or not having a baby doesn't make you smarter. It doesn't rearrange your brain. It doesn't change anything about you biologically, it doesn't change your DNA. And it certainly does make a 16 year old selfish spoiled brat an Adult. You can't claim to be an adult when you A. rely on your parents, B. Still in high school or dropped out but still have no high school equivalent diploma, C. complain and cry that you can't go to prom because you're pregnant or bc you have a new born to take care of. Adults don't cry because they can't go shopping at the mall because they have a family of three to feed and bills to pay.
Seriously like get the fuck over yourself. So then MTV plays this stupid show and stupid girls watch it but I don't think it prevents them from having unprotected sex because teenagers think they are invincible. They think that getting preggo at 16 would never happen to them, and if it did-that it would be perfect.
I want mtv to show a a 16 year old get pregnant and have a miscarriage 6 months into it. That is real life. I want mtv to show a single mom who is 16 living on the streets with her baby-or in a shelter. Or even just one of these girls on her own and incredibly broke and bills piling higher and higher. That is real life. I watch all my friends who got pregnant at a young age. "16 and pregnant" glorified the shitty times by showing young girls that parents swoop in and become free daycare, and that it's ok to married at 17 to a guy you're only with because you have a child together.
And what's really sad is ten years from now the show will be called 12 and Pregnant and it will be a norm in our society to see tweens preggo. Tweego is what we'll call it. And mtv will glorify that shit too.
The whole premise of 16 and pregnant is supposed to show teenagers that getting preggo while in high school is a bad idea and makes your life very very hard. It's supposed to be birth control. Yet I think MTV does a horrid job of de-glamorizing teen pregnancy. All the girls tend to have rich parents who are push overs and we see yet another generation of grandparents raising babies. All the girls are treated like shit by their stupid boyfriends-yet they stick around because "it's better for the baby." Um no it's not, it's ten thousand times worse. Plus they repeat the phrase better for the baby over and over and over yet none of them, except one or two, actually do the best thing for the baby and give it up for adoption. Some of the girls continue to party and have unprotected sex because believe it or not having a baby doesn't make you smarter. It doesn't rearrange your brain. It doesn't change anything about you biologically, it doesn't change your DNA. And it certainly does make a 16 year old selfish spoiled brat an Adult. You can't claim to be an adult when you A. rely on your parents, B. Still in high school or dropped out but still have no high school equivalent diploma, C. complain and cry that you can't go to prom because you're pregnant or bc you have a new born to take care of. Adults don't cry because they can't go shopping at the mall because they have a family of three to feed and bills to pay.
Seriously like get the fuck over yourself. So then MTV plays this stupid show and stupid girls watch it but I don't think it prevents them from having unprotected sex because teenagers think they are invincible. They think that getting preggo at 16 would never happen to them, and if it did-that it would be perfect.
I want mtv to show a a 16 year old get pregnant and have a miscarriage 6 months into it. That is real life. I want mtv to show a single mom who is 16 living on the streets with her baby-or in a shelter. Or even just one of these girls on her own and incredibly broke and bills piling higher and higher. That is real life. I watch all my friends who got pregnant at a young age. "16 and pregnant" glorified the shitty times by showing young girls that parents swoop in and become free daycare, and that it's ok to married at 17 to a guy you're only with because you have a child together.
And what's really sad is ten years from now the show will be called 12 and Pregnant and it will be a norm in our society to see tweens preggo. Tweego is what we'll call it. And mtv will glorify that shit too.
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